Disclaimer: The characters portrayed are the property of Warner Brothers Television and Renaissance Pictures, Inc. and their respective licensees. No copyright infringement is intended. I just use the characters in ways we all want to see!!

A Comedy of Eros A Buffy TVS/Hercules Crossover Story by Doug Wagner

It was dark, and Xander couldn't see two feet in front of him. Soft music played in the distance, and the young man strained his ears to hear the divine refrain.

Suddenly, he was carrying a tray worked in gold and silver, and a soft silk toga hugged his narrow hips. Golden leaves twined through his dark hair, and a gentle breeze wafted through the air, redolent of cinnamon and unearthly perfume. He headed through the hall now suffused in warm golden light.

Impossible gold marble soared to the heavens in Grecian columns that defied logic. The columns themselves were arranged in a circle, with the soft music and gentle perfume ensconced in the center. Xander thought briefly how he'd love to show Buffy this spectacle, then wondered who exactly Buffy was.

As he drew closer, he could make out figures in a court of sorts. At the head of the circle sat an ageless man, who somehow exuded paternity. Next to him a hard woman with piercing eyes and a golden peacock resting on her shoulder. The others gathered loosely around these two, and Xander knew them for the leaders of the group.

His soft sandals scraped the floor at his approach, and the man at the lead glanced his way. "Ah, Ganymede. Have you the nectar to slake our thirst?"

Xander felt his lips slide open in smooth response. "O mighty Zeus, I am ever humbled to serve you and your queen, Hera. That I might serve the entire might of Olympus is only my duty." He knelt before the father of the gods and proffered the golden chalice. "Drink, my lord, and know that your humble page adores you."

His heart pounded as the lord of Olympus took a huge draught from the chalice, then set it to his side. Zeus rose and clasped Xander's head firmly in both hands.

"Rise, then, my beloved page, and know that you have pleased me well."

Elation swam in front of Xander's eyes, and he felt the firm golden marble slide from beneath his feet, and then he was falling, falling, falling....

"--And then I woke up," Xander finished, grabbing an apple from Buffy's lunch tray. "Weird, huh?"

"I'll say," Buffy agreed, deep in thought. Willow nodded.

"It sounds as if you've actually been paying attention in Literature, Xander."

Xander crunched into the apple, and looked at Willow intently. "What do you mean, Will?"

But the girl was already flipping through her Lit book. Finding the section marked Greek Mythology, she slammed her finger into the text. "Here! See, Xander, your dream is right out of the book. Ganymede was a mortal boy that Eros was in love with. It attracted the attention of Zeus, who saw the beauty of the youth, and bore him to Olympus, where he was made page and cup-bearer of the court." Xander was shaking his head. "Eros? Who's he?"

Buffy stared at him. "Eros? The god of Love, right?"

"Cupid?" offered Willow. Xander groaned loudly.

"So Cupid was in love with Ganymede?"

"Looks like," stated Willow.

Xander started to pace. "This is great. Freaking great. Now I'm having dreams about some ancient fairy?" Buffy and Willow exchanged a look, then both nodded in the same move. Willow moved to Xander's side.

"It's nothing, Xander,"she stated. "Dreams happen all the time, and they're never anything to worry about. The brain has to get rid of the garbage that it collects throughout the day. You were just shedding Lit class, that's all."

"'Shedding Lit class,'"he echoed hollowly as a thought occurred to him. "Lit class? Wait, we just had a test, Will. Over Chapter Three." He fingered the open lit book, and gazed at the page.

Chapter Sixteen Greek Mythology

* * * * * * *

Ganymede/Xander wandered the glorious halls of Olympus, marvelling at its beauty. It was almost as if the rules of physics were suspended here. Staircases were upside down, and windows showed no scenery beyond. He found a gold marble bench, and sat briefly, his head spinning with awe.

"It would not be wise to let my grandmother see you sitting, Ganymede," a voice said from above. Ganymede/Xander looked up and saw a golden skinned godling, his sweaty body barely concealed by the leather skirt that he wore, hovering above him.Ivory wings on his back held him aloft, and his green eyes held a promise of mischief . His perfect mouth slid open to reveal impossibly white teeth as he continued. "Hera's not known for her patience. Just ask my uncle Hercules."

Ganymede/Xander watched as the god dropped to the bench beside him, then replied. "I have been given a recess by mighty Zeus, Eros. I have no fear of Hera."

"You're the only one in the world, then. Even Zeus gives Hera a wide berth." His voice dropped conspiratorially. "And believe me, she needs it, the cow!"

Ganymede/Xander choked off a giggle, then noticed how close Eros had drawn. His golden fingers were sliding under the edge of the cup-bearer's toga, brushing lightly against the downy hair on his ball-sac. His groin tightened in response, and his own arm dropped into Eros's lap, his fingers finding the edge of the soft leather.

Eros' lips were at his neck now, hot and passionate. The soft ivory wings brushed against the page's face, and suddenly, he was lost in the fire of unyielding passion. His teenage cock rose and bucked, lifting the silken material away from his legs, and tenting the fabric. The lips of the god moved down his smooth skin, leaving a trail of fire as he went.

The fire leapt in response as the Love god sunk Ganymede/Xander's cock into the impossible softness of his mouth. A raging inferno of silk and moisture surrounded the boy's pole, and moved around and around and up and down. Mad with lust, the boy managed to free the godling's dick and, twisting his body around, docked it in his own velvety mouth. He felt the god-pole leap in his mouth and start sliding back and forth. It had the impossible taste of chocolate and cinnamon, only a hint of each, but it inflamed his ardor.

Eros pulled the boy up, and ran his hands along the boy's sides, luxuriating in his smoothness. His hands moved to Ganymede/Xander's ass, and a thick finger slipped inside. The page groaned wildly, and shoved his ass back hard against the intruder. Suddenly, there was oil on Eros' fingers, and then two fingers were spreading his tender sphincter, and Eros leaned to his ear.

"I will always love you, Xander," he whispered, and then the boy was impaled on that golden, delicious object that he had kissed so fervently. Together they moved, god and boy, until Eros' thrusts grew frantic and uncontrolled, and he left his seed inside Xander's ass, where it overflowed and ran back down the teen's legs. Feeling the warmth of the god's semen trickling from his ass was enough for Xander to start shooting his own load, and it flew everywhere, while Eros' voice rang though his head.

"I will always love you, Xander...."

Xander woke with a start, covered in his own semen. That had been some intense wet dream. He'd had those dreams of Angel, but he'd never thought he might actually be queer. This dream was more than just garbage, he was sure now. It had to be something else, but what?

He rolled over to go back to sleep, and yelped in pain. He ran an experimental hand down to his ass. It was sticky and sore, like he had had something shoved roughly in his ass. Like Cupid's dick. He felt a trickle of moisture, and fearing blood, he raised his hand and looked at it.

Golden semen glistened in the bright Sunnyvale morning. Semen that smelled of chocolate and cinnamon.

Great, he thought acidly. I sure won't be asking anyone for help with this little problem.

He lay there, reflecting on the dream, and the way the god had erupted the lust inside of him, calling Xander's name as he impaled the boy's ass.

Wait a minute. Until the sex started, the god had been calling him Ganymede. Then it was Xander throughout the whole act. That had to mean something, but who could he ask? Why was Cupid tormenting him in his dreams?

What the hell was going on?

* * * * * * *

"Under the circumstances, I cna appreciate your need for discretion," Giles said as he hauled down an ancient text from the lockroom. "In ancient times, mortals were often visited upon by the gods through dreams, and in fact, many of the Grecian myths claim that the heroes themselves--Hercules, Perseus, and Theseus, were the result of Zeus visiting mortal women in their dreams and impregnating them." He wrangled the book out of the tiny cage and set it on the table.

"What's that?" Willow asked, fingering the crumbling pages. Xander shot her a dark scowl that he ricocheted toward Buffy as well. He'd tried to convince Giles that the girls didn't need to hear about his dreams, but Giles had insisted that the Slayer be there just in case it was some vampire thrall. Willow had the book open, and was looking at the woodcarving plates.

"Um, it is an ancient text of the Slayers," the librarian replied. "It goes back to the day of the first Slayer; a warrior woman named...let's see here..."he flipped a page, "Ah, yes. Xena. Apparently, she was the first to encounter the nosferatu and defeat all but one."

"The Master," the three teens chimed woodenly.

"It doesn't say as much, but..."Giles shrugged helplessly. "We all know the Master is unbelieveably ancient., so it is conceiveable. But it doesn't explain Xander's dreams about Olympus. It does say that Xena was one to consort with gods--Ares, Apollo, Poseidon, even Eros once, though it names him Cupid in this text."

"What does that mean, G?" Buffy asked from the desk.

Giles ran a hand through his hair. "I have absolutely no idea."